Starfire's Diary
by Miss Starfire
Summary: Starfire's feelings in Sisters. COMPLETE


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own the Titans…feel pity?

**NOTE: **This how I think Starfire viewed the events happening in the episode "Sisters" I just love that episode!! I'll probably do this type of fic for other of my favorite episodes, it all depends on how much you like this one!!

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**Starfire's Diary**

Dear Diary:

I have just got back from the roof. I was talking to Robin about what had happened last night, which was a very long and surprising night. Beast Boy and Cyborg had suggested for us to attend to a "carnival". I asked Robin what a carnival was and he said it was similar to a big party and that there were "games and rides" in it. He said that we would have much fun and I believed him. Robin never lies to me and I trust him entirely. He has given me his trust and unconditional friendship, and this friendship had been put to a test last night. We went to the carnival and I immediately understood what Robin had meant by "rides and games". Beast Boy and Cyborg told Raven they were going to win her a prize. All three of them left but I did not feel lonely; I had my best friend next to me: Robin. Robin asked me to follow him and I did without thinking. He said he wanted to show me something; we walked for a little and stopped at a little house. Robin called it "stand". The first thing that caught my attention was the great amount of stuffed animals that the stand had on the back. In front of it there was a weird, tall machine and a man standing next to him. Maybe that is why Robin called it a stand, because the man was standing next to it. Robin asked me if I wanted any of the animals and I pointed to a huge white bunny with pink ears and nose. Robin smiled and said he would "win it for me". I did not quite understand what he had meant by that but I nodded. Robin exchanged words with the man in charge and he gave Robin a big hammer. I asked Robin what he was going to do with the hammer but he just said that I should stand back and I immediately did. He grabbed the big hammer with both of his hands and with all of his strength he hit a big button that was on the pedestal of a tall pole. When Robin hit the button, a little box started to raise up and it almost reached a round metallic object that was a the very top of the pole. The little box came down and as it did, Robin turned to see me. He had a disappointed face and I did not know what had happened but I did not like to see him like this.

I heard a laugh and both Robin and I turned to see the man next to pole; he was laughing and pointing at Robin. Robin made a face at the man. I asked Robin what he was supposed to do with the hammer and he told me that I had to hit the red button and make the little box hit the metallic circle to make it sing. I asked the man if I could try it, and he accepted after staring at me and laughed. I grabbed the big hammer from Robin's hands and prepared to hit the big button. When I did the little box not only hit the circle and made it sing but it also continued its path to the sky and we never saw it come back. Robin and the man's eyes widened and then I asked Robin if I had won the prize for him. He said yes and the man handed me the bunny. I hugged it and gave it to Robin as a present. He knew that I really wanted it and told me that if he kept it he might loose it, and that it was a better idea if I kept him for him. I agreed with him, the idea was glorious.

Robin told me we should keep walking and we did, and a few steps from where we were we saw Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg. Beast Boy and Cyborg where in front of a stand (although there was no one standing inside it) and inside the stand there was a big table with many bottles on it. Beast Boy and Cyborg were throwing red circles at the bottles and Raven just rolled her eyes every time they did. They saw us and waved and we waved back. I then turned to another direction and saw a big circle that was on a pedestal, the circle had baskets and people were inside them, and the baskets turned around the big circle. Robin saw my curiosity and asked me if wanted to ride the "Wheel of Fortune" with him. I suppose that is the name of the wheel, and even if I did not know what he was talking about I agreed. We walked towards the wheel and climbed on one of the baskets. I put the bunny on the floor of the basket and at that exact moment, colorful lights appeared as explosions on the sky. I asked Robin what they were and he said they were called "fireworks" and that they were used to entertain people or celebrate a special occasion.

The fireworks reminded me of the attacks that were made in my home planet and for a moment I feared the Earth was under attack. I turned to see Robin and he seemed calm, his face lacked any worries and I erased the attack thought out of my mind. I stared at the fireworks and realized they were very pretty and that they actually entertained me. Again, the thought of an imminent attack came to my mind and I asked Robin is he was sure there was no real danger and he said there was nothing to worry about. He offered me to taste a ball of pink cotton. I doubted for a moment since I had tried another ball of cotton that was white and it tasted very bad. Robin told me that this one actually tasted good and I took a sample. He was right; it was really good, indeed. Robin made me feel comfortable in a planet that was so strange to me. I almost felt that I belonged here on earth and I acknowledged him about this idea. I wanted to thank him for allowing me to stay with him and his friends and accepting me as I am. I was going to said this when the fireworks became louder and faster. Robin yelled something about a finale happening and I just stared at him. The way the lights reflected on his face made him look different. "Amazing!" Robin yelled and I agreed with him. Earth had many amazing things, like him. We were about to continue our conversation when something grabbed me and took me away from Robin. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening and all I could hear was Robin calling out my name from far away.

I turned to see what was carrying me away from him and I saw a pink strange machine with four legs. I tried to free myself from it but it would not let me go so I shoot a starbolt at it. I released myself from the strange artifact but it kept following me. I flew back to the carnival and saw my friends waiting for me on the wharf. I did not stop to talk to them because the machine was following me. When I flew back to the wharf my friends attacked the machine but it was Robin who defeated it. He said that the object could not hurt me anymore but my real concern was the reason why it had attacked me at all. Even though Cyborg said I should apologize to it, I do not remember harming it in any way before. We came back to the Tower and I wanted to show my gratefulness to my friends by reciting them the "Poem of Gratitude" and I was surely to recite it but a known voice stopped me from doing so. For my joyful surprise, or so I thought at the moment, my sister Blackfire was there standing on the living room. I welcomed her and she gave me a beautiful present: a Centaury Moon diamond. I loved it! I grabbed my sister with the intention to introduce her to my friends but she did it all by herself. Even though she had not met them before it seemed she knew exactly how to talk to each one of them. Blackfire had always been able to "blend in" (as Beast Boy had said once) rather easily. I admired this quality from her. Everything was fine until she introduced herself to Robin; I saw it in her eyes. She knew how I felt about Robin because I had told her and now she was trying to make him like her. I had to do something and I quickly walked towards them and asked my sister the reason for her visit. I thought this question would take Robin's attention out of her but it only worsened the situation. She mentioned her adventure about almost being sucked into a black hole and won Beast Boy, Cyborg and Robin's attention. I wanted to bring Robin's attention back to me but Blackfire sent me to fetch soda for her and I did. Blackfire had been here for a couple of minutes and things were already changing for me.

The next day I woke up and I was not able to find Blackfire anywhere. I had forgotten the whole situation about Robin and her so I decided to talk to her. I looked for her throughout the whole Tower. I got tired of looking for Blackfire and decided to go look for my friends to "hang out" with them. Cyborg and Beast Boy were on the living room playing video games. They were arguing as always, it is much fun to see them discuss during the games. I took the opportunity to ask them about where Blackfire could be. They said they did not know and I decided it could be a good opportunity to join them in their game. Their answer made me feel disappointed. They told me that they were competing to decide who would play against Blackfire, since she was a very good player. I understood their answer and went to look for Raven; I got to her door and knocked on it. Raven opened her door, but not completely and I asked her if my sister was with her. She said no as she began to close her door. I had to react fast and I asked her is she wished to hang out with me, and that we could go to her favorite place: the depressing café she attended to whenever she could. She said she had already gone with Blackfire and that her poetry had surprised her. Raven closed her door and since Robin was not in his room I decided to go and look for him at the gymnasium. I was near the entrance of the gymnasium when I saw Robin and Blackfire's shadows. She said something about doing him doing something right and then I saw the shadows get to close to each other. I felt surprised because I thought they were…kissing! I ran towards them and saw they were just practicing alien martial arts. I felt relieved but I also felt replaced. Robin had never asked me to train with him but I used to watch him train. Now Blackfire was not only watching him but helping him out as well. Robin asked me why I had not told them about these alien martial arts and I did not answer. I could not tell him that I did now wish to hurt him, he would have felt that I was calling him weak. Blackfire said that I did not know the martial moves and I decided to let her answer be the reason for me not to show Robin alien martial arts. Her answer, even though a lie, was better than mine.

Blackfire took Robin away and they went to the roof. I decided to leave to my room and not show any one of them how sad I felt about his whole situation. It had taken me a lot to win my friends over and now my sister was taking them away from me. I decided I would not let any of this happened, so I picked some movies and fetched bags of candies and took them to my friends. They were in the living room and for my luck, Blackfire was not there with them, it was just them and me. I told them about my idea of the movie night and asked what type of movie they desired to watch. They all had very different choices. I could not let this opportunity go away so I immediately suggested a double feature. This option might have worked but Blackfire came inside the room and she was wearing my clothes! She told my friends about a party that was going to take place downtown and she again convinced them to join her. They all stood up and made their way to the front door. That was it, we were not going to stay indoors and hang out as we did before, but I followed them anyway. We arrived to an abandoned creepy warehouse; the place reminded me of Raven's room, without the lights and music, of course. We went inside and Blackfire led the way to the center of the big room. I was trying to follow them but people were getting on the way and one even stepped on my foot and did not apologized. I did not feel I fit there. Next thing I knew Cyborg, Beast Boy and Robin had begun dancing and Raven had left with a boy.

Two boys joined me and asked me something about making holes on the ground or something that sounded like it and my reaction and answered made them laugh. I felt so embarrassed I ran outside and found a door that led to the roof. The roof, my favorite place of all. I sat down on the edge of the building and began to think how miserable I was and how wrong and foolish I had been for believing I could fit in this world. When my hopes of fitting in were about to collapse I heard a voice coming from behind me. It was Robin. He always knew where to find me and always arrived at the nick of time. He asked what was wrong and I did not want him to laugh at me too so I lied an told him everything was fine. I could not lie to him, and even if I did he would find out just by looking at me and he did. I decided I could not hold my feelings anymore and told him about how happy I was of seeing Blackfire but that she was better than me. Robin put his hand over my back and began saying something but Blackfire came out from the top window and Robin stopped what he was about to say. He did not seem happy about Blackfire's interruption. He asked her to leave and she did, but with him in his hands. I was left alone, again, or so I thought. That was when I saw another of those machines that had attacked me yesterday, but now there were three of them. I tried to fight them off but they were too strong for me. I could have called for help but for a moment I thought it would be better if they just take me away.

One of the machines grabbed me and somehow lost control and made us fall inside the big room. My friends were already fighting against them but could not stop them, we needed help, we needed Robin. One of the machines threw me away from the room and I fell into a smelly trashcan. I thought they had caught me for good but suddenly they let go and the trashcan fell on the floor. I felt glad my friends still cared enough to save me but then I realized that the person that had actually saved me was my sister. Unfortunately, my friends had seen Blackfire in action and became amazed of her powers. My remaining happiness ended when Cyborg suggested Blackfire to join the team. I could not believe this was happening to me. We came back to the Tower and I excused myself and came inside my room. Nobody noticed I had left the living room since they were all asking Blackfire about her powers and her possible addition to the team.

I looked for a backpack inside my closet and put some of my favorite stuff inside: pictures of my friends, a change of clothes, a bottle of mustard and a little stuffed animal. I wanted to take the bunny but it was Robin's bunny, I was just taking care of it for him. I went outside my room and walked to the roof. Nobody noticed or heard the doors being opened and then closed. Once I was on the roof I looked back at what I was leaving, I was leaving what I had considered my home. But it was not my home anymore; it was to going to be Blackfire's home now. I knew she would be a better Titan than me so I pulled my backpack up and started to fly away when something, somebody stopped me. It was Robin. He asked me if I was going to leave without saying good-bye. His look, his words and his tone broke my heart. He looked upset, and concern, and confused, all at the same time. I flew down feeling guilt for what I had done to him, to my best friend. I wanted to let him know that it was not his fault that I was leaving. That he did not need to feel guilt or angriness. I was not able to speak to him. I looked at Robin's face and that was when I saw the a flying ship behind him. Robin turned and put himself in front me like if he wanted to protect me. He always protects me, no matter what the situation. A robot was on the ship and he immediately threw a green elastic rope towards us. He hit Robin and made him fall behind me. The rope came back and tied me up. I wanted to scream and fly away from it. I did not want them to take me away anymore. Robin had shown concerned and was the only one that noticed my absence from the Tower and had come by to look for me. He really cared about me and I did not want to leave his side. There was nothing I could do, the rope was too tight for me try anything and the fear of being taken away from him did not help me react at all. I saw Robin getting up and running after me. He jumped from the Tower and almost grabbed my foot. He was not able to reach me and I saw him fall a little until the robots pulled me to the top of the ship and I did not know if Robin had made it back to the roof and if he as ok.

The robots put me inside a capsule and I kept screaming trying to free myself but I could not. They said we were going to the Centaury Galaxy for me to pay for the wrongdoings I had done there. My hopes went down. I thought I was never going to see my friends again…not even Robin. Right at that moment, Robin came out of nowhere and told the robots that I was staying here on Earth. I felt so happy that he wanted me to stay here with him, with all of them. Robin started to attack the robots, and tricked them into shooting their own ship. The ship was out of control and Robin freed me from the capsule I was and removed the green rope from me. He looked down and did something I would never forget: he grabbed my hand, really, really tight. We jumped away from the colliding ship and I helped him get down to the ground safely. Once we were down there my friends had arrived. They asked us if we were ok and we looked back towards them. The robots stood up and said they were from the Centaury Galaxy and said we were under arrest and accused me of being a liar and a thief. I told everyone that I had never being there and I had honestly never been there in my life. Robin figured out what was happening: Blackfire had tricked us all. Robin asked where Blackfire was and Beast Boy pointed at her; she was flying away. Robin told me that she would not get away with what she had done to me, and to all of them. I felt so mad at her. She was going to let me be taken away from my friends, my home, from him. I could not stand it anymore and I confronted her. I do not know if Blackfire had gotten weaker or I had gotten stronger but we started to fight.

I did not wanted to hurt her but she started attacking me first. I fought back and when the fight was about to get bad, the Centaury Police used the same green rope they had used on me and tied Blackfire up. I said farewell to my sister and she told me she would get even one of these days. I hope she does not, and if she comes back I would be a better fighter than I am right now.

Even though all these horrible things happened to me in less than two days something wonderful happened a few hours ago. I went to the roof and admired the sunrise. It was really early and did not think anyone was awake. I sat down near the edge and Robin appeared behind me. He sat down next to me and asked me how I was. I told him the truth. I always do. I told him that I was sad for what Blackfire had done to me and that she was going to spend a long time in jail. Even though she deserved she was still my sister. Robin then asked me what I felt for myself. I told him that I felt relieved that the truth had been discovered before I became replaced. He did not quite understood what I had meant to say and asked me why did I have said that. I tried to yell at him that I felt she was going to take him away from me and replace me and I did not want that to happened but I could not tell him that. He would have easily think I was a stalker (like he calls the girls that following him around when we go to the city). I just started to say what Cyborg had said but he interrupted me and I am glad he did. He said the most beautiful words I have ever heard from him: "She can never take your place…no one can _ever_ take your place". I felt so happy when he said that; all my worries and doubts disappeared. I could not help but to smile and looked at him in a way I could say "Thank you" without words. I did not want to break the moment with words. He had said everything that needed to be said and for that I am grateful. We stayed there for a little more time and then he said he wanted me to cook something for him for breakfast. I know he does not like my cooking but he thinks I cannot see his faces when he is trying to chew the food I cook for him. However, he knows I do my best to cook for him, and I know he does his best to show how much he cares for me.

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SO? Liked it? Should I write another fic regarding another episode…Let me know! Thanks for reading!!


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